


Untitled

by yuletide_archivist



Category: Gundam Wing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-01-10
Updated: 2004-01-10
Packaged: 2018-01-25 03:54:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1630148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuletide_archivist/pseuds/yuletide_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was always like this. Both stubborn. Both too proud to give in. Both of them wanting, needing.but never caving, because of who they are, because of status, obligation.honour.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Untitled

**Author's Note:**

> Written for ShadeAngel

 

 

Untitled

Gundam Wing -5x6  
For ShadeAngel

*********

It was always like this. Both stubborn. Both too proud to give in. Both of them wanting, needing...but never caving, because of who they are, because of status, obligation...honour.  
Being lovers did not mean making love to them, being in love was just a faade to fool onlookers from seeing the truth deep inside. No, being lovers meant a furious struggle between to identically strong wills. Wanting it so much and yet too much held them back. The rhythm was wrong, when they were together, where one soul pushed, the other pushed back, never yielding, never soft. Always wanting to hurt each other because that was all they knew to do, all they were born and taught to do. Teeth, nails, words...it did not matter in the end. The point of this never-ending game was to cause as much damage to the other as they could. Let out their anger, lose their minds, lose their souls-

-gasp. Your fingers clench into fists around black satin sheets. Your back arches, you cry out, he cannot win, you will not let him win...

They can't help it, no matter what they try to do to keep away, their paths always cross. Unavoidably, just like fate. Destiny.   
They believe in neither, they are still young and nave enough to believe that they can control their own lives in every aspect, although the was is rapidly changing them. Changing them so that they lose themselves, and all they have that is certain in their lives, to anchor them down are those nights of carnal pleasures that they inevitably found themselves sharing.

-your fingers tighten in his hair, pulling. You hear his gasp of pain and you smile. You pull his head up and your lips meet, clashing angrily, lustfully. Teeth biting with a fury that you had not known you possessed, you taste hot, copper blood and you drink it, swallowing triumphantly, because it means you own a part of him now. You own a part of him that was not given to you willingly, but one that was snatched against his will.

Their lives are masked by lies. The lies they create and weave around themselves, about where they were, what they were doing...who they were with. The lies rule them, and the fragile structures of their lives wobble, unstable on its weak foundations built on insincerity and falsehood.  
They fight to keep everything under control, and sometimes, everything seems controlled, and normal, but there are always things there to remind them of the double lives that they are leading.   
Their lies are so intricately but loosely held to each other so that even if one falls apart, and crumbles, the rest will also collapse. They are so close to breaking point now, with the pressures of he war and expectations forced upon them, they try their best, whatever that is, and yet, everything is still falling away from the cocoon of protection around them.

He refuses to let you have the upper hand, he pins you down onto the bed, you struggle, trying to escape the heavy press of his warm body, but he's stronger, heavier and you cannot move him. you turn your face away from his demanding mouth, refusing to yield. His long hair caress your face, you feel it against your cheek, your lips...it smells faintly of lavender, it must be from that shower gel that he uses, with extracts of lavender. You always took this smell away with you when you left him and you had bought the same shower gel to stop the others from getting suspicious, but they are not fools and neither are you. you know, somewhere inside you, that one day, they will find out the truth behind your lies, and then they would turn away from you and you would be on your own. You would not be able to bear it. But now, lavender floods your senses, and the cautious, weary thoughts leave your mind.

In the cold, winter nights, they find warmth in each other. Offering support for maybe a single moment in time, when heart races ahead of their minds, but soon, their common sense kicks in and any feeling of support and comfort is dropped and is lost in the cold air.  
They both know of the dangers, the war can kill them at any time, every meeting could be the last. They've never spoke to each other about it, in fact, they barely spoke to each other at all. If they did not speak of it, then it would seem that they did not care, it would also seem less real. It would just seem like paranoia and an unjustified fear preying on their minds, because they know that seeing each other was important, it was the only thing keeping them sane in the brutal world of death and destruction.

The two of you are opposites physically. You love the way his dark skin contrasts against your pale skin, pressed close together so that the colours bleed into each other in your vision, but once you blink, you're two separate beings again, only fused together for one moment in time in your mind. Some times, during the night, when you lie awake in bed gazing sleepily at him, watching the gentle curves and soft planes of his face,, your light hair tangled with his black, you wish that things could have been different.  
You think that if only you had met him under different circumstances as you watch the silver moonlight flood over his skin. If only he did not sometimes glare at you so heatedly, so filled with hatred. You're not quite sure who or what the hatred is aimed at, it could have been you, or the war, or just life, in general.  
You know, that on the outside, you are both so different, but on the inside, your souls cry out together against the cruel reality of the world. your minds lashing out against the same injustice and lost honour. So you are really the same, you are just two identical souls caught on opposite ends of a war that is being fought to end all wars. Wanting for the day that everything stops to come, because then you can go home and for the first time in your lives, feel safe.

*******  
-Fin-

 

 

 


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